Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Happy 100th Post!

So, we have arrived at another milestone - here it is the 100th post! WOW - I can honestly say I don't know if I expected that fourteen months after starting to write my thoughts, feelings and experiences of being a divorced father that I would still be doing this.

I have been thinking a lot about what will happen with the blog as time goes on and more importantly what would or should occur with the blog. Obviously this whole thing started out as a way for me to get out my feelings and to get some type of cathartic release. Now, I feel it is morphing into something different or maybe I want it to.

I have been talking with Laura about how much of my own personality I should share and I think that while I have been pretty straight forward with who I am - both good and bad. I have also tried to keep most of my "post" to my time with the kids or my thoughts and feelings as a father. Understand, I know there has been a couple of post that were off those topics but I have really tried to stay on that track with minor exceptions. Because I have been unemployed it has given me a chance to think about a ton of things that I really had not considered in a long time. Things like - who am I and what do I value. It's funny - maybe it's even a midlife crisis in someways - but you never really take stock of the small changes within yourself until you are forced to stop, slow down and really see what has been altered. For me - what was altered is what I chose to give up. The things that I chose to rid myself of and not place in as great a value as I once had. Understand - these things are choice and all of us make them, don't we? All of us make the decision to give up or no longer place as much importance in avenues of our life that we once did. When you become a parent you change everything that you want and desire for what you feel is best for your children - don't you? When you get into a relationship you alter those things in you that maybe corrosive to your relationship - don't you? If you didn't - I know that I did and am very happy to say that giving up some things we not then or now and issue as I believe you become something for different - not better or worse but different - for those around you because you want to give to them and I accept this.

I have been watching the stats on who is reading the blog and from where and I am honestly humbled. Recently the stats for the past week were (by country and number of viewers): United States 248, Iran 8, Canada 4, India 4, Germany 3, Australia 2,
Italy 2, Singapore 2, Argentina 1 and China 1. It is amazing to me that anyone would be reading this but the fact that there are people in Canada, Iran, India, Germany, Italy, Singapore, Argentina and China are reading my blog is amazing and I really am so overwhelmed by that thought - thank you.

So - now the question is what will the blog become? I am hoping it will become more about my life, my thoughts and feelings, my experiences, my desires, my views and many if I am lucky, my growth and my salvation into becoming a better man.

Ten things that you may not know about me - (1) I love politics and read anywhere between 11 - 20 blogs each day on the national and international politics. (2) I love to read but I sometimes struggle staying on task with just one book. Currently I am reading Stolen Innocence by Elissa Wall, Monster by Walter Dean Myers and Middlesex by Jeffery Eugenides. (3) I have sixteen tattoo's - none of which can be seen when I am wearing clothing. (4) I really love to cook but tend to make food that is way to spicy for others to enjoy. (5) I love documentary movies and watch what Laura calls "stupid shows" on television (Pawn Stars, American Pickers, Hardcore Pawn, National Geographic). (6) I never thought that I would be a father and since becoming one I can't imagine NOT being one. (7) I love doing things for others. (8) I love being around and working with kids. (9) I am growing to like my new "hometown" of Adrian but . . . miss the place of my birth; Monroe. (10) I can't wait to hold Ethan but am truly worried about being a good enough father for him.

So - what will occur with or happen to the blog is really unknown to me at this point but you know what, that's wonderful isn't it? I am open to the future that is ahead of me while still knowing that I must hold dear all the terrific things in my past that got me to where I am today. Happy 100th blog entry to "both sides now . . " and I pray for 1,000 more!

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