Life has become much like the Bill Murray film “Groundhog Day”. Things bleed into one another from one to the next. It becomes a routine, déjà vu almost. One task to the next has become like the ticking of a clock. Wake the boys, make breakfast, greet Laura when she arrives home, talk with Laura for a few minutes before she goes to bed and then it’s a cavalcade of task. I look at the daily “job boards”, pick-up the house, do laundry, make lunch for the boys, make dinner and lunch for Laura if she must work that day and if the weather is nice enough take the boys outside to play. The afternoon and night is the same, routine, déjà vu.
All of the “changes” have in many ways worn me down. My credit score was once over 800 and I owned two homes. Today, whew, I don’t even want to know. Back in 2004 I cashed out a retirement plan to purchase a home and then with everything ended up losing that home. I figured I was young and to be honest at the time felt like I had just taken what would be the last job I ever held because in truth, I loved it that much. Then after a few surprises get dropped it forces change. I found I no longer had a “social work” license in Michigan. Not because I did anything wrong but because the fee to renew the license was never sent in and as my degree is in “Corrections and Juvenile Services” I am not actually “grandfathered in” for the new licensing requirements in Michigan so after 15 years working in that field you get closed out. Then you find the surprise of a court order that demands back taxes from the City of Toledo. The downside is that since you never knew you were supposed to go to court you have a default judgment against you. Thankfully I was able to cash out another retirement plan and settle with them but in the end that’s just a short term gain long term loss to be honest. It’s all frustrating.
Some days I will look at what people share and want to scream. Look, I know that work can suck and that co-workers can be a pain in the ass but guess what - if that's really the worse problem you have things are going pretty damn good, ya know.
The thing is that I am not looking for sympathy or understanding or even for folks to relate to what I am going through. We have all been in this position at one point or another I know that. It's just that the question I have to ponder is if I really need to have just one more reminder of the unending repetition that is Monday - Sunday. It's basically rinse, wash, repeat.